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Julia Altera: Behind the Curtains: The invisible movement, the sound of “I don’t know” and of silence, the hidden power within withdrawal, and staying true to oneself while moving toward the other
About the Workshop
An experience in the emotional world of Withdrawers and in the transformational event of the Withdrawer Engagement.
Withdrawal represents one of the most complex and often underestimated clinical challenges in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). When a partner shuts down, retreats into silence, freezes, or repeatedly answers “I don’t know,” the therapeutic process can lose momentum. These moments mark a critical threshold where the attachment system is highly activated—yet often invisible on the surface.
For the therapist, working in this space can evoke clinical uncertainty, a sense of inefficacy, or even the fear of losing the process. It is easy to feel excluded, disoriented, or caught in dynamics where withdrawal starts to look like disengagement, control, or indifference. Yet beneath these signals lies a complex emotional world shaped by shame, helplessness, and deep fears of emotional failure or rejection.
In many cases, the withdrawn partner is not alone in the room. There may be an active pursuer, still holding residual reactivity—even after meaningful de-escalation in Stage 1—expressing urgency, protest, or emotional pressure. The therapist must learn to track both partners simultaneously, containing the energy of one while inviting the other into moments of emotional risk. These are the moments when we practice the clinical art of “catching the bullet”: capturing reactivity in real time, using it to reframe and reorganize the dynamic, and creating space for recognition, safety, and new meaning.
It can be particularly effective to name and normalize the difficulty of taking in something new. When partners have engaged in protective, defensive patterns for years, even a moment of openness or responsiveness from the other can feel disorienting. Noticing that this new information or interaction feels foreign or hard to trust—especially when shaped by unhealthy attachment strategies or entrenched communication cycles—can reduce fear and support emotional engagement.
This workshop provides a comprehensive clinical roadmap for re-engaging withdrawn partners—without pressure, without disengagement, and with deep clinical intentionality. Learning Objectives.
An experience in the emotional world of Withdrawers and in the transformational event of the Withdrawer Engagement.
Withdrawal represents one of the most complex and often underestimated clinical challenges in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). When a partner shuts down, retreats into silence, freezes, or repeatedly answers “I don’t know,” the therapeutic process can lose momentum. These moments mark a critical threshold where the attachment system is highly activated—yet often invisible on the surface.
For the therapist, working in this space can evoke clinical uncertainty, a sense of inefficacy, or even the fear of losing the process. It is easy to feel excluded, disoriented, or caught in dynamics where withdrawal starts to look like disengagement, control, or indifference. Yet beneath these signals lies a complex emotional world shaped by shame, helplessness, and deep fears of emotional failure or rejection.
In many cases, the withdrawn partner is not alone in the room. There may be an active pursuer, still holding residual reactivity—even after meaningful de-escalation in Stage 1—expressing urgency, protest, or emotional pressure. The therapist must learn to track both partners simultaneously, containing the energy of one while inviting the other into moments of emotional risk. These are the moments when we practice the clinical art of “catching the bullet”: capturing reactivity in real time, using it to reframe and reorganize the dynamic, and creating space for recognition, safety, and new meaning.
It can be particularly effective to name and normalize the difficulty of taking in something new. When partners have engaged in protective, defensive patterns for years, even a moment of openness or responsiveness from the other can feel disorienting. Noticing that this new information or interaction feels foreign or hard to trust—especially when shaped by unhealthy attachment strategies or entrenched communication cycles—can reduce fear and support emotional engagement.
This workshop provides a comprehensive clinical roadmap for re-engaging withdrawn partners—without pressure, without disengagement, and with deep clinical intentionality. Learning Objectives.
This workshop is recommended for those who have completed the EFT Externship course
- WHERE?Online with simultaneous translation into Russian
- WHEN?27-28 march 2026
9-00-15-30 CET - COST?$180
Learning objectives
- Understanding withdrawal as a protective attachment strategy Explore the neurobiological mechanisms of freeze, collapse, and shutdown Recognize early signs of attachment activation in withdrawn clients, even in the absence of verbal cues Identify how shame, inadequacy, and self-protective narratives shape emotional distancing
2. Working with silence and “I don’t know” as clinical signals Reframe silence and non-responsiveness as forms of emotional communication Apply slowing down, heightening, and evocative responding to support the emergence of felt experience Track micro-movements of connection and avoid reinforcing distancing responses
3. Managing clinical complexity with reactive pursuers Balance the reactivity of the pursuing partner while preserving access to the withdrawn partner’s emerging signals Develop strategies for de-escalating reactive protests without silencing emotional needs Practice “catching the bullet” to slow the cycle and keep emotional risks manageable for both partners
4. Addressing perceived power dynamics and relational threat Explore how withdrawal may reflect a history of relational injury, emotional invasion, or power imbalance Support clients who feel unsafe, dismissed, or emotionally outmatched in the relationship Maintain a balanced therapeutic stance that acknowledges the emotional truth on both sides of the cycle
5. Facilitating vulnerable engagement from within withdrawal Help clients move from protective distance to authentic emotional expression Use structured enactments, reframes, and attachment-based interventions to support reconnection Honor the client’s internal coherence while creating space for new emotional experiences
6. Integrating cultural and intersectional awareness Examine how culture, gender, family history, and intergenerational trauma influence withdrawal patterns Adapt EFT interventions to respect diverse identities and relational narratives Avoid pathologizing behaviors that are rooted in cultural survival strategies
7. Using music and nonverbal tools to access implicit emotion Incorporate music, rhythm, and tone to evoke emotional depth and embodied resonance Use metaphor and creative modalities to amplify connection when language is limited Let musical voices of withdrawal guide the session into deeper emotional fields
This workshop includes clinical video recordings featuring multicultural couples, highlighting subtle moments of withdrawal, risk, and reconnection. Participants will have the opportunity to observe, analyze, and practice interventions grounded in Stage 1 and early Stage 2 of EFT.
You will leave with advanced tools to work in the stillness—when words vanish, emotional movement slows, and the therapist becomes the guide through invisible terrain.
Dr. Julia Altera is a clinical and forensic psychologist, certified trainer, supervisor, Emotionally Focused Therapist, and Schema Therapist. She is one of the founders of the EFT community in Italy and the director of the EFT Center in Northern Italy. Additionally, she is a co-founder of the EFT communities in Southeast and Northeast Brazil.
Before specializing in EFT, Julia Altera graduated with honors from the Miller Institute in Genoa with a degree in Cognitive-Behavioral Psychotherapy. She then earned a master's degree from the Faculty of Medicine and Surgery in Genoa in Criminology and Forensic Psychiatry. As an external consultant, she worked in psychiatric hospitals for prisoners, high-security prisons, and addiction treatment centers for drug and alcohol dependency. During this time, she also underwent international training in trauma treatment and dissociative disorders with Dr. Kathy Steele (ISSTD).
Dr. Julia Altera is fluent in Italian (native), Portuguese, and English and can conduct therapy, supervision, and training in all three languages
Before specializing in EFT, Julia Altera graduated with honors from the Miller Institute in Genoa with a degree in Cognitive-Behavioral Psychotherapy. She then earned a master's degree from the Faculty of Medicine and Surgery in Genoa in Criminology and Forensic Psychiatry. As an external consultant, she worked in psychiatric hospitals for prisoners, high-security prisons, and addiction treatment centers for drug and alcohol dependency. During this time, she also underwent international training in trauma treatment and dissociative disorders with Dr. Kathy Steele (ISSTD).
Dr. Julia Altera is fluent in Italian (native), Portuguese, and English and can conduct therapy, supervision, and training in all three languages
$180
27-28 march 2026
9-00-15-30 CET
9-00-15-30 CET
Julia Altera: Behind the Curtains: The invisible movement, the sound of “I don’t know” and of silence, the hidden power within withdrawal, and staying true to oneself while moving toward the other
Cost
ИП Янковский Александр
Алексеевич
ИНН 20111199950162
ОАО «Оптима Банк»
БИК 109018
р/с 1091813393600143
к/с 7A8-8-USD-01-2
Алексеевич
ИНН 20111199950162
ОАО «Оптима Банк»
БИК 109018
р/с 1091813393600143
к/с 7A8-8-USD-01-2
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